Does your child have grown up Complex?
Background on Grown Man Tude:
Grown Man tude, what is that you may ask, what does it mean, you may question. For me and my son it is reference to his attitude and his perspective on his role in life right now. What he believes his baby rights are and what he can and can't do, or doesn't have to do because he doesn't want to do it because he is now a man. Every time he says it I try to not die of laughter because sometimes it is cute and funny, but other times he is so serious and means it when he says he is not going to do what he was asked or told to do. Fellow mother's I am sure you can relate to me in this session, as I get into my child's attitude.
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Hello to all the mothers out there, whether you're a fellow single mom like myself or married, or adoptive mommy, we are all mothers and I am sure we have a lot of the same experiences, when it comes to our children's attitudes. Now I know I only have the one, but man he is enough for me at times hahaha. He is every and I mean every bit of me that it just amazes me everyday still, I see so much of myself in him, from his looks, how he talks and expresses himself, and to his emotions. He is very sweet and more on the caring side like I am, but also like me he has a temper. And at times he is not afraid to use it. Which in turn does not work out for him so much. But now his other side the sweet helpful and caring side, works out for me just great! Now as far when it come to disciplining, I never really have to dish out the pow pows, because just by using a certain tone in my voice and having the right pitch, it gets the job done for me, again sometimes. Somethings particularly that we find issue with each other is when it comes to; his games/Xbox, YouTube, communicating his feelings properly, bedtime, and cleaning and feeding his Bunny Mr. Blue.
Now for the most part knows that I mean business and not playing. But for the better part he is an awesome young man, and very helpful and not only to me but to his Ants, Grandparents and Uncle. He takes good care of when he is playing with his cousins and also making sure nothing happens to them, as he is the only boy and they're girls. (Also he is the oldest so I am sure that superior part kicks in hahaha). Now that he is 8 years old and Grandpa says he is the Man of the House, he thinks he can now say and do more of what he wants. As if Grandpa has some how crowned him the King of the World. He believes now that he has been declared Man of the House he doesn't have to clean up his toys and stop playing his games when mommy says to. He says that he should be able to do what he wants now that he is older, and he thinks that he can do these things that he wants to do without mommy saying otherwise. And doesn't want to go to bed when he is told to. No he wants to play his games on his Xbox as much as he wants and not just on the weekends. Because that is not fair to him, he wants to make his own decisions and have no rules.
Such as, it is not fair to only be able to watch YouTube and play his Xbox games on the weekends and not during the school week. So we have a bit of discussions that we have to get through calmly, some may not always be as so. But I believe in letting him voice his feelings and opinions, mind you in a certain way as he knows to be careful and respectful in doing so. Because I remember when I was younger and adults would be like children are seen and not heard type of mentality and that is definitely not how I want to raise my son. I want him to be able to freely and appropriately be able to express his feelings in a good manner and properly communicate those emotions, with out bottling them up and snapping one day, or hurting himself or someone else.
This way when he is an adult he will know how to communicate and the importance of doing that in a proper manner where you're not screaming and yelling to get your point across, or being upset and not able to communicate why you are upset, because sometimes that can happen, and make him more frustrated. But at just 8 years old he has really grown a lot. Maybe a little too opinionated, but I honestly rather him be that and know he will be able to voice his reasons and feelings and opinions and stand up for himself in life.
Which for the most part he really good at, and even surprises me with things he says or does. One thing is how he uses what he learns or picks up from everywhere and catches me off guard and I'm just like wait where did you hear that or where did that come from lol. But one of my biggest obstacles is bed time, he hates bed time so bad, and will do the normal five more minutes or ten more minutes hahahaha, and I'm like certain nights okay dal but you have to wake up and give me no issues in the morning and get to classes on time. And for the most part he does, but we have those mornings when he moving like snail and not wanting to do anything or get ready and starts saying how he doesn't like school anymore because he can't sleep! I have to laugh on the inside because I can remember those days and feeling that way too, but it is unfortunate and he has to do it.
We also have issue with when it comes to him and his responsibilities, so he knows that what ever he does, play with and or make in the kitchen, (mind you he doesn't need my help with cooking anymore because he is grown man lol smh), and feeding or cleaning his bunny cage and giving him water. He's like well why do I have to do any of this, and or can't I just clean up tomorrow. A lot of the time he is good about getting things done with little to no back talk, and other times I have to give him some incentives and or take away what he loves, in order for him to follow directions without an hitch. At times I do have to remind him of his responsibilities, especially when it comes to Mr. Blue (his bunny) because he wanted a pet and he so in turn he has one and must take care of it.
You know kids want things and they ask for things; games, pets, toys etc., but don't want to put in the work it takes to make sure their pet for example is being taken care of, like did you feed him, did you give him water, or his treats. Like you have love and care for him like I do for you. One time he told me straight up, "than he is your bunny and you can take care of him, because this is a lot of work!). And so I told him no that I would not because this teaches him to be patient, and how to care and love and not abandon your pet because you have a moment where you don't want to do what needs to be done because you rather do something else, like play games. And to put his paws in Mr. Blues paws and see how that made him feel to hear you say that, it hurts you hurt his feelings and now he knows that this is how you feel. That makes him sad, (okay parents you sometimes you have to improvise, and I have to it worked!) and now he going to think that you don't love him anymore and breaks his little heart. Than that gets to him the guilt of it, and having those thoughts, I also like that it shows him to not give up on something because it is no longer fun or has too much responsibilities.
I feel in doing this and having rules he will gain more character and gain patients and know what it means to be dependable because you have someone to take care of and love. Keep him grounded with responsibilities and structure, nothing over the top though, some guidance because anything else I feel would in turn be over kill and than that's when the kids start to lash out.
